The Illness of Rightness
Is unity a possible destination of humanity when the divide seems to grow more vast? Doesn't seem like we can arrive at harmony and connection when the means is continuing to disconnect and become more rigid in stance. When I reflect on righteousness, I do so humbly. I have been brought back to 'right size' many a times over the course of my life and I am sure this will continue.
I like to think about my practices in life and work as promoting 'psychological flexibility.' The ability to bend and move and stretch with the unpredictable nature of life. In personal experience and professional observation the more righteous we are, the more rigid we are. I get why we as vulnerable humans have righteous parts of our systems. Being right creates an illusion of security and safety. If we are right, then we KNOW without doubt. But is that real? Can there be no doubt? Or do we have to suppress/reject the doubting parts of ourselves in order to stay in our rightness?
I am sure you - a psychologically minded person reading some random therapist's blog - know what happens when we reject a part of ourselves.... Ppppprojection! That person out in the world, who is speaking what your internally exiled doubt thinks, becomes top villain. They must also be banished from your external world given the internal dynamic's fragility. This is not sustainable and takes so much work!
The antidote to righteousness is curiosity. Curiosity can be a bridge across the divide. Curiosity leads to connection and connection to compassion.
So I encourage you friends, get curious about the gray space and the parts of you who cling to black and white thinking. We are so much more expanded in thought and tolerance than we often give ourselves credit for.
And a final note that I feel RIGHTEOUSLY RIGHT about.... Healing comes from integration and harmony, not from splitting, banishing or exiling.
Wishing you ease and an open heart.