I have been musing about the idea of being nice. I feel on the spectrum of peoples and niceness I am below average... But I also don't feel that it is a goal of mine. This might sound surprising, and I have found the few I bring this up to have balked back at me and said 'of course you are nice.'
That word, nice. It doesn't resonate with my spirit. I actually feel slightly repelled by the word. I value language and the feelings evoked from the way words sound and flow. I decided to look it up for its exact definition and history beyond my general understanding.
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary-
History of Nice- 14th century, Middle English, foolish, wanton, from Anglo-French, silly, simple, from Latin nesciusignorant, from nescire not to know.
Additionally the definition includes - polite, well bred, pleasing, socially acceptable, agreeable... No thanks.
This makes so much sense. I have spent most of my life with an inner narrative that I 'should' be nicer. She is so much more 'nicer' than I am. Can I be in alignment with my soul, but not nice? I actually feel like striving for niceness pulls me out of my authentic spirit and farther from my soul centered living.
Even with this dialogue I have always felt that I am 'good' and I am loving. This thought led me to the word kind. I feel kind. The definition of kind is loving, gentle, helpful, thoughtful and compassionate... just to share a few.
What would it look like, feel like, to drop a lifelong task of trying to push my individual measure of niceness to be nicER?
Flipping the script to a life led by kindness feels more serving than battling with the feelings niceness brings up in my body.
Thanks for joining one of the many things swirling around in my mind. :)